Spam. You see it in your mailbox everytime you check it. It comes from places, like Xoom and Lifeminders, and other places you don't care about. They say "$5 off your favorite movie if you buy our product!". But what does it mean? And why do people care about it? In an investigation, I have discovered the answer. It is a plot by guinea pigs to TAKE OVER THE WORLD. That's right. All of it. They plan to send spam in increasing amout of spam to EVERYONE. No E-mail address will be safe. When the amount becomes too much for the E-mail server to handle it will crash. That's when the second part of their plan comes in. The guinea pigs will mutate into ALIENS! FROM OUTER SPACE!!! They will EAT all the computers in the world. Then they will SPIT THEM OUT AT EVERYONE. Then HUMANS WILL BE CONQUERED!!! Why make the servers crash from spam then? Why not just mutate into aliensnow? Because it's all a part of their master plan. Their EVIL master plan. Which is to degrade the morale of the people. To cause unrest. AND REVOLUTION!!! We suspect the GOPUS MAY BE ONE OF THEM. A GUINEA PIG. AND HE MAY MUTATE INTO AN ALIEN AND EAT A COMPUTER AND SPIT IT OUT AT YOU. Beware of guinea pigs. NEVER talk to one about this. He will send you extra spam if you do. Lock your doors. Load your shotguns. Buy canned food. And come to QBI for further updates...