SUBs.  You see them in just about every program for download.  They take up the entire top part of the program and gives the impression that your code is neat, compact, and fast.  They can be used to do common tasks with parameters.

But maybe people aren't seeing the full picture.  Do you notice that a program with SUBs seem to feel somewhat... object oriented?  Not very much of course, but it just makes QBasic ever so slightly closer to... (dare I say it?)... Visual BASIC.

Visual BASIC has little routines called... SUBs.  And evil button pasting interfaces.  Was Microsoft trying to quietly adjust society to like VB even as they made QBasic?  QBI thinks so.  So we did some more research on the matter.

SUBs are slower than their older brother GOSUB.  And GOSUB has a cooler name.  Doesn't that say something?

It says more than you know.  We at QBI suspect a bigger plot.  Maybe even an alien invasion.  A BIG one.  These aliens are friends with the guinea pigs.  THE ONES WHO SPIT COMPUTERS AT PEOPLE.

It all started with the mutation of the Zerg-Protoss races.  (these are aliens from Starcraft, a computer game)

They have become the perfect race... OR SO THEY THOUGHT.  What they didn't know was that the guinea pigs are going to be allies with Earth and DEFEAT THEM.  Then the guinea pigs can conquer us with no ones help.  So they can impress the gerbils (who are invading Mars).  But what they don't know is that hamsters are, and always will be allies with the humans.  Indeed, the hamsters are our last hope.