JTM
08/11/00

The QB gene: Does it exist?
Is there really a gene that effects your power to program in Qbasic? Scientists have no comment but I know better. The gene is thought to be hereditary but still not very dominant in females (which would explain a lot).

There are several things that this gene effects, some of which are still in debate. here is the current known list of physical and behavioural properties effected by the gene.

-How much caffeine you are able to consume before vomiting.
-How many useless programs you can write in an hour.
-How long it takes you to fill up a 13gig hard drive with .bas files.
-How long you can spend online without causing permanent damage to your eyes.
-How much you like cheese.
-Whether or not you think gerbils are more intelligent than hamsters.
-Whether or not you think you are a hamster.
-Whether or not you are a hamster.
-The ability to flame people beyond recognition (only in extreme cases).

Of course after reading this you may think this is just a load of crap. If you do think this then you probably have the VB gene but thatís another topic.

The only known test to find out if you have the gene or not is fatal since it requires the subjects body to be grounded into a fine powder and burnt. If the flame that results is blue then they have... had the QB gene if its pink, red, or orange then it means they ate a lot of cheese in the last 24 hours. If itís purple it means they had the VB gene.

The conclusion is that the QB gene still needs to be studied more so less poor unfortunate children are born looking like hamsters (which may not necessarily be a bad thing).