Matthew River Knight

This world was once a savage place. A land where blood replaces gold, and
monsters were the rulers of the Earth. A land where brother ate brother,
sister ate sister, and murder was regarded as nothing more than a way to
pass the time. But what happened to these beasts of the past? Did they REALLY
die, or are they merely in a state of suspended animation?

According to recent reports from the famed German scientist, Adolph von
Liebnietz, these dreaded beasts of the past have resurfaced, and
frighteningly, are more elusive than ever. Furthermore, it is believed by many
that these monsters are targeting the so-called QB community! "QB coders are
dissapearing" announced the Los Angeles chief of police today. But where did
this all start? Nobody is completely sure. However, we suspect that, like all
things in life, it began with three gerbils, a tube of toothpaste, and a
socket wrench...

"QB coders are not the only things being stolen" said one QB programmer who
wishes to remain anonymous. Our investigations confirm this, having descovered
that a certain RPG by Merlin contains vast quantities of stolen graphics.
Merlin will neither confirm nor deny the allegations, but QBI agrees that
he's about as suspicious as a large black mole on the buttocks.

Our investigators have confirmed that the minds of many QB coders have also
been stolen. Several hundred QBer's reportedly marched around the White House
today, singing "Mary had a little lamb, and boy was she surprised." Majiko
provided the chorus, which was reportedly "The end of our longing is here, the
end of our longing is here." We aren't exactly sure what Majiko meant. Asking
him for an explanation only served to magnify our confusion. He started
licking certain parts of his body and yelled "HEHEHEH, I KNOW WHERE I LIVE."

We asked MagnaUnum if he thinks the current uprising in the QB community
could be related to the Middle East peace conflicts. "Sometimes... Monkeys
die" he replied.

Saddeningly, we believe that Skarab, the editor of QBI, may have had his mind
stolen too. In proof thereof, he recently announced that he is going to make
a complete game once a week until Halloween.

We have recieved word that those who once frequented Darkness Ethereal's
discussion board, are either dead or have fled for their lives. It seems that
some people didn't quite pick up on what was happening... "Why is it so
quiet here" asked Gav. In reply, XMark said "Shhhhhhh... Keep your voice down.
There's a monster in the message board... If he hears you then... Oh no...

Virtuasoft has been hit equally hard by the onslaught of the monsters. We
believe that Danny Gump, who has been missing for some time now, was one of
the first victims, though we have yet to confirm the allegations. One young
QB coder asked "Maybe we should check the morgue for Danny's body?"

Accusing fingers are being pointed at Dunric, who reportedly said the following
shortly before the first sign of the monsters: "I fiddled around the commented
source code and it turned into the Boogie Monster!"

Evidently, there is much confusion in our community at the present time, and
thus we are currently unsure of the exact nature of the situation. Is this
another gerbil conspiracy? The wrath of Merlin? The fault of Dunric? Who
knows. All we know is that you should flee! Flee I say! The monsters will
surely murder us, our wives, and our concubines! Fleeeeeeeeeeeeeee...