JTM
8/16/00

Code so bad you can smell it…

So you thought it was safe. Safe to program without regard for the safety for other unsuspecting programmers to stumble upon your smelly source code (S.S.C). We know your out there and its only a matter of time before we track you down. Yes you know don’t you… smelly programmers. Without mentioning any names I will state the following. Smelly programmers code so bad that you can actually smell it.

Ever downloaded a program from some qbasic website somewhere, you unzip it and then run the bas file. You take a deep breath to allow more oxygen to be absorbed by your lungs. Then it hits you like a ton of feathers. Bang your down for the count and you realise that this program stinks! We can only assume there must be a dark underworld of smelly programmers that are ruled by someone so foul that their followers cant even stand the overpowering stench of his/her programs.

We realise that the people who write these smelly programs are effected by a defect in a gene when one of their parents had the qb gene and the other had the vb gene. This type of person is known as a ‘half-breed’ and are considered extremely dangerous because they can code smelly programs in vb and qb (a scary thought indeed).

Scientists have devised a test for ‘half-breeds’ which is apparently fatal to people with the vb gene but further studies may fix this (or not). The overall point of this article is that you should not download a program that you believe may have been written by someone affected with S.S.C.S (smelly source code syndrome). We will try to keep you informed about this problem and notify you of any possible cure (hopefully a non-fatal one).