Gates Trascends to god Status 5h4d0w
Microsoft -
We knew that the Microsoft employees were covertly working on some sort of
new project. But the question arises: what was it, and who was involved??
Our question was answered on August 16th when so-called prophet Augor
posted a seemingly cryptic, meaningless post on the NeoBASIC board. What
caught my attention was his last words, a premonition: "Heed the warning
of the Goats!" I re-read the post a few times and eventually saw through
the feigned ignorance to the message underneath. Gates was
coming.
Then it happened. On national television, at a press
conference, Gates raised himself to god-level: When asked about the future
of Microsoft, almost immediately some sort of celestial light shone around
Gates as he lift himself into the air by simply willing it so. Witnesses
reported "a sudden urge to bow down and worship him." On the other hand,
Steve Jobs claims the event occured simply to spite him. He had filed
charges, claiming Bill Gates is using his new-found powers to force
consumers to buy Microsoft products. The supreme court was not fooled by
Steve Jobs' wild accusations. They declared Microsoft innocent due to
Gates' "glorious and majestic qualities" Gates then demanded sacrifice,
and Jobs was the first to go.
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