Study
Reveals:Programmable Minds 5h4d0w 8/18/2k
NeoBASIC - Regular
NeoBASIC message board visitor ShadowMaster has recently reported his
endeavours in the field of mind programming: programming the human brain
by means of outside electrical signals transmitted directly to the brain.
Thus far, he has been able to make a man crave popcorn and has
successfully programmed another NeoBASIC regular, tf, with instructions to
replace all occurences of the word "ratio" with the word "ration", causing
confusion among the stupid. He also introduced an interesting theory which
proposes the possibility of programming a person's brain with Qbasic
source code. we have no idea of the results of his experiments
yet.
However, our own studies conclude the following: it is very
possible to program the brain. We've actually been able to do this, in
fact. ((test results below)) so far you can write the code only in a
language I won't even try to explain here. It is probably too complicated
for you anyway, and we'll have all these newbies trying to edit their
brain's kernel and screw it up. You'll have to code it in another
language. i'm working on a qbasic translator for it. all you'll have to do
is connect your floppy drive to your brain with your data controller cable
and a power supply and boot yourself up. if you use my translator, your
program will automatically be invoked. I'll let you all know when it is
finished.
Test results: -------------
((subjects were
chosen randomly and forced into a black van, blind-folded, and taken to
the QbI hq))
Subject #1: Power supply not connected correctly.
Brain can no longer boot up. Subject buried. Subject #2: Execution
successful, brain formatted. Subject also buried. Subject #3:
Programmed to beep every two seconds. Subject released. Subject #4:
Accidental execution of unkown interrupt. deceased. Subject packaged and
returned to mother. Subjects #5 through #100: Programmed to be QbI's
elite military fighting force.
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