New evidence stays execution of Marcade
by MagnaUnum

The Governor of NeoZones granted a stay of execution to convicted murderer and child molestor Marcade on thursday. The stay came in light of new evidence that suggests Marcade may not have been involved in the alleged crimes at all, which include slaughtering all 17 of Tek's illegitimate children and shaving Chaoticmass's ass with a shard of broken glass. DNA evidence unveiled during the criminal proceedings implied that Marcade worked alone, however, Marcade's family attorney and personal proctologist, The Car, came forth early thursday morning with new evidence suggesting that these unspeakable acts may have in fact been committed by a genetically enhanced clone of Marcade created by the masterminds at qbasic.net. A brief reexamination of the DNA evidence does not refute this claim, as it appears the blood found at the gruesome ass-shorning crime scene contains a certain allele on the 20th chromosome known as the "normal-to-long penis" gene. Geno and Phenotype profiling of the real Marcade has shown him to have neither the gene nor it's handsome side effects. The execution, originally set to occur today by means of lethal probing, was stayed for a term of 30 days to allow the defense to present the new evidence in court and district attorney Alex Varanese to rebuild his case against Marcade. Charges against qbasic.net and/or the alleged clone are pending Marcade's acquittal.(AP)