Humor on the topic of Y2K:
Ever wonder what would happen if QB wasn't Y2K compliant? It may have to be rewritten. Here's what may happen:


Typing "QB /L" at the command prompt would no longer default to QB.QLB; the new default library would be DirectQB.

"QBMIDI" would be a reserved word, but would serve no function.

Ever get that bug where the QB editor asks you "You will have to restart your program after this edit. Continue anyway?" Then once a key is pressed the highlighted line momentarily disappears. It would be replaced with: "The only true constant in this Universe is change, and guess which constant has just been implemented here?"

The use of PEEK & POKE would provoke a RUN-TIME ERROR: "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down..." to save the programmer the trouble of having to restart QB from WINDOWS.

EMS & XMS memory support would be built into QB, but to use them you would have to disable your sound card, joystick port, modem, and CD-ROM drive, erase your autoexec.bat and config.sys files, and disconnect your hard drive, forcing your computer to rebot from a disk labeled "EMS132".

QB would be able store program code into hard drive memory instead of RAM, freeing up more of the precious 500K DOS gives each program (like QB); however, the user must press CTRL + ALT + * and this fact would not be advertised.

The words "Shareware" and "Freeware" would be reserved for future use, simiply so no one would be allowed to use them.

A better graphics library would be built into QB, but it would only work on the Microsoft programmer's computer, running a peticular graphics card.

The keyword "LOADSOUND" would be included as a cruel joke by Microsoft and merely generate a RUN-TIME ERROR.

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© Copyright 2000 by Timothy D. Mowrer for Secret Weapon Software.