Matthew River Knight This world was once a savage place. A land where blood replaces gold, and monsters were the rulers of the Earth. A land where brother ate brother, sister ate sister, and murder was regarded as nothing more than a way to pass the time. But what happened to these beasts of the past? Did they REALLY die, or are they merely in a state of suspended animation? According to recent reports from the famed German scientist, Adolph von Liebnietz, these dreaded beasts of the past have resurfaced, and frighteningly, are more elusive than ever. Furthermore, it is believed by many that these monsters are targeting the so-called QB community! "QB coders are dissapearing" announced the Los Angeles chief of police today. But where did this all start? Nobody is completely sure. However, we suspect that, like all things in life, it began with three gerbils, a tube of toothpaste, and a socket wrench... "QB coders are not the only things being stolen" said one QB programmer who wishes to remain anonymous. Our investigations confirm this, having descovered that a certain RPG by Merlin contains vast quantities of stolen graphics. Merlin will neither confirm nor deny the allegations, but QBI agrees that he's about as suspicious as a large black mole on the buttocks. Our investigators have confirmed that the minds of many QB coders have also been stolen. Several hundred QBer's reportedly marched around the White House today, singing "Mary had a little lamb, and boy was she surprised." Majiko provided the chorus, which was reportedly "The end of our longing is here, the end of our longing is here." We aren't exactly sure what Majiko meant. Asking him for an explanation only served to magnify our confusion. He started licking certain parts of his body and yelled "HEHEHEH, I KNOW WHERE I LIVE." We asked MagnaUnum if he thinks the current uprising in the QB community could be related to the Middle East peace conflicts. "Sometimes... Monkeys die" he replied. Saddeningly, we believe that Skarab, the editor of QBI, may have had his mind stolen too. In proof thereof, he recently announced that he is going to make a complete game once a week until Halloween. We have recieved word that those who once frequented Darkness Ethereal's discussion board, are either dead or have fled for their lives. It seems that some people didn't quite pick up on what was happening... "Why is it so quiet here" asked Gav. In reply, XMark said "Shhhhhhh... Keep your voice down. There's a monster in the message board... If he hears you then... Oh no... He found me... NO... NOOOOOO!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!" Virtuasoft has been hit equally hard by the onslaught of the monsters. We believe that Danny Gump, who has been missing for some time now, was one of the first victims, though we have yet to confirm the allegations. One young QB coder asked "Maybe we should check the morgue for Danny's body?" Accusing fingers are being pointed at Dunric, who reportedly said the following shortly before the first sign of the monsters: "I fiddled around the commented source code and it turned into the Boogie Monster!" Evidently, there is much confusion in our community at the present time, and thus we are currently unsure of the exact nature of the situation. Is this another gerbil conspiracy? The wrath of Merlin? The fault of Dunric? Who knows. All we know is that you should flee! Flee I say! The monsters will surely murder us, our wives, and our concubines! Fleeeeeeeeeeeeeee... |